Here Comes the Rain Again

Song of the Day 07/11/2022

Here Comes the Rain Again by The Eurythmics

When I woke up this morning I almost fell into a trap of reading some long article about the unique and coded correspondence between Amy Coney Barrett and Clarence Thomas, what this says about the future of education, ‘human rights,’ contemporary Americanism, I don’t know. The point is I was luckily saved from the riffraff by Annie Lenox and Dave Stewart with this song, one of those all-time greats I don’t think of that often. 

Here Comes the Rain Again is written from the perspective of someone in unrequited love who wishes to imitate their desire in the vague form of others, of how a couple should talk, kiss, coalesce, etc. Lenox’s shrieks of longing suggest a romantic inclination unmet. Sad, but makes for great art.

As someone in a long-term relationship, I can say with confidence that Lenox has unrealistic expectations. Then again, nothing is more powerful and blinding than the illusion of something wanted but not had. I almost wish that whoever sings and longs for such a romance never finds it; it would be a shame to have dreams shattered by reality. It’s undoubtedly better to live in fantasy. 

Perhaps I’m jaded. I’ve been in a relationship so long now that I don’t remember what it’s like to be alone and not in love, to be in love but not have someone love me back, or just to be in love but not know. I may be like a rich person who doesn’t recognize their wealth, constantly telling those less fortunate to suck it up, that life isn’t that great after all, that they have nothing to look forward to, just before being driven to a Michelin starred restaurant. Of course, no one is ever happy, most people spend their lives in a permanent state of hysterical desire, no matter what they have, lover or new car, stainless steel non-stick frying pan, perfectly sized pot for a very large plant, whatever, that’s beside the point.

There’s another possibility. Love is great while in the hypnosis of it all, but life is also just as great without it. It’s obscene to think that while in a good relationship, but of course, it’s a possibility. The only thing that probably makes this incorrect is the never-ending need for companionship, which will, like all desires, never wane (unless one gets into heroin or crystal meth). If this is true, love is about not only finding the stoic sensibility to cherish what good you have—but also the need to create the repeated desire to make one person happy over and over again, to infinity—how can I successfully make this bi-pedal lump of flesh smile for most of the day? It's a good way to think. To consistently make one person happy over a lifetime is more than what most can accomplish. 

It is true that our relationships with others, for better or worse, give us a sense of ourselves, perhaps even our capacity to meet our futile desires, and better, to be content with them.